It has been said that saying please and thank you, in any language, opens doors and warms relationships. This has never been more true than today.

Growing up in a small Seattle community during the late 1950s and early 1960s, everyone looked like me, spoke like me, dressed like me, enjoyed the same type of foods as me, and celebrated the same holidays.

Today, that is not the case. That same community, not so small any more, is richly diverse. No longer do we need to travel to another country to experience ethnic cuisine, apparel and a foreign language. Our world has become a global community. As wonderful as this is, it does present challenges to both our personal and professional lives.

When we live or work shoulder to shoulder with others who come from a different background, we are required to develop new interpersonal skills so that we can effectively communicate with them. Understanding another language is often where people stop, and yet, this is just the beginning. We must also understand body language, customs and a bit of another’s history. Armed with this knowledge, we are more likely to build bridges with those we encounter and each of these experiences broadens and enriches lives.

Working in the etiquette and image industry for the past 30 years, I have experienced an interesting shift in social awareness globally. Those outside the United States are highly committed to broadening their knowledge regarding manners and image. There is an understanding that we do live in a global community and these are as necessary skills for success as learning a new language. This is especially true when it comes to raising children. Those who influence the lives of children deeply desire to equip them for the present as well as the future.

Having recently returned from Japan, I am reminded how small our world is, and how all of us desire to know what to say and what to do in any situation. Uncertainty in social settings shatters our confidence and causes most to withdraw from new opportunities.

The graciousness of the Japanese people is remarkable. Their custom of bowing is so honoring of others. On first glance, one may think there is little need for training in manners and image, and yet, when you listen closely, there is the familiar echo of “Am I doing the right thing?”

An intimate group of boys and girls gathered in a small hotel room where we spent the next week learning how to handle a variety of social settings in a confident manner. Each of the children — ages 5 to 12 — attend an international school, so their English is very good. As an American, I still must be aware of filtering my language so that I avoid using examples that do not translate into their culture properly.

We spend every meal together practicing how to sit up straight, use a napkin, chew with mouths closed, correctly use a knife and fork, how to hold stemware, and conduct polite table conversation. Every meal offered is a new experience. We enjoy formal French cuisine, authentic Japanese, Chinese, English tea, and several informal buffets. It is a delight to see their confidence soar as they master so many dining settings. I remind them it is not about the food — it is about building relationships.

From handshakes to bows, they practice how to meet and greet others, how to carry on a conversation, the importance of good grooming and appropriate clothing. Our foundation is kindness and respect for self, others and property. It is the ability to put others at ease and for you to feel comfortable. It is about doing the right thing and doing it with the right attitude. Children from every culture understand this.

An upscale department store in Osaka provides me with an interesting observation. Each employee stops and bows at a line on the floor as they enter and exit the store. This is a non-verbal way to show honor and gratitude to those who shop there. There were some employees who bowed with sincerity and others half-heartedly. Attitude is everything.

No matter what language we speak, our non-verbal communication does provide a clear understanding of our attitude and will either build a bridge or build a wall.

Deborah King, a former Federal Way resident, is president of Final Touch Finishing School. Contact: www.finaltouchschool.com or (206) 510-5357.