So there’s this funny story that makes the regular repeat rounds among my friends regarding guns, crows and me.

First you need to know that I hate crows. They are the spawn of Satan, little more than rats with wings. Their prevalence in the Northwest gave me some pause when we first moved here 15 years ago, as it seemed to be a certain sign of a dark force over the region.

The wretched, nagging caw of the crow is a bitter sound to awaken to, compared to the gentle chirp of chickadees, robins and the hundreds of other species that clearly exist to glorify nature and nature’s god.

Back to crows and guns. I had just had enough with some loud-mouth crows that were cawing incessantly out my bedroom window one morning. I got my BB gun and held vigil at my upstairs bathroom window just waiting for the satisfaction to pop one of those rats off the treetop in my backyard. We do not have any houses or signs of life behind our house, just an open lot (for you nervous Nellies worried about safety). I ain’t stupid.

I took a shot and actually hit the varmint on the second one. It usually just takes one shot before they tell all their friends to stay away for a while. I was satisfied. Yes, I wanted the little creature to suffer. That’s what he gets for being on the bottom of the food chain — and for being so cocky and inconsiderate. But I am a civilized human being, so I restrained myself from using a sharp pellet. I used a harmless BB that immature human men often use to shoot at each other for sport.

Just after scaring off the crow, I saw a woman walking her dog. She was easily 50 yards away and 50 feet below. She looked clearly irritated at me. Too bad, I thought. It’s my yard, my gun, my rights.

About two hours later, I was loading my son and his friends in our van, on our way to celebrate his birthday, when one of Federal Way’s finest pulled up in my driveway. Talk about killing the spirit of a party! I walked to the end of my driveway to meet the fine young police officers who told me that a woman had called to complain about “a teenage boy shooting from our backyard upstairs window.”

Teenage boy? Oh yeah, I had short hair back then. I confessed to the officers and relayed the whole story. I’m from the South after all, and defending our property from pesky critters…well, that’s just one of God’s laws.

I was shocked to learn that I had actually broken the law, not because I was firing a gun from my window, but because I was firing a gun with the intent to harm one of Satan’s little creatures (only in the Northwest).

I apologized to the officers and said it wouldn’t happen again. They actually seemed to restrain their enjoyment about the whole incident. Maybe it was my bare feet and pregnant belly that amused them.

So, I was thrilled that the United States Supreme Court released its ruling Thursday morning that our Second Amendment rights are still intact. The Supremes, by a 5-4 ruling, overthrew a Washington, D.C., ban on handgun ownership.

You may think it’s ironic that the most violent district in the United States has a handgun ban. You should know that it is actually quite consistent with the findings that wherever gun laws are the strictest, the criminal element acts with the most impunity.

In other words, there’s more crime wherever there’s less freedom with regard to gun ownership.

An exhaustive study of all 3,054 counties in the United States between 1977-1994 demonstrates a consistent and proportional relationship between crime and gun ownership.

The violent crime rate is significantly lower in regions where gun laws are the most permissive — and highest where gun laws are the strictest.

Former University of Chicago professor John Lott details the study and answers the most common misconceptions about our Second Amendment rights in his book “More Guns, Less Crime: Understanding Crime and Gun Control Laws.”

One statistic that caught my attention was that for each additional year that a concealed handgun law was in effect, the murder rate declined by 3 percent, rape by 2 percent and robberies by over 2 percent. Lott said: “Concealed handgun laws reduce violent crime for two reasons. First, they reduce the number of attempted crimes because criminals are uncertain which potential victims can defend themselves. Second, victims who have guns are in a much better position to defend themselves.”

He makes no mention of teenagers sporting BB guns to battle the terrible plague of crows, but I’m sure there’s research somewhere to justify my actions. I’m just certain there is.

Federal Way resident Angie Vogt: vogt.e@comcast.net. For past columns and further commentary, visit www.soundupdate.com.