The other day I read the article “5 priests assigned to Federal Way abused children over decades” in the Jan. 29 Federal Way Mirror. Greg Magnoni, spokesperson for the Archidiocese of Seattle, is quoted as saying, “It’s easy to stand on the other side of this coin and suggest that things should have been done, but if you’re on this side of it, you realize it’s not possible in every single case… If anyone has ideas about how we can address things of this nature, believe me, we are open.”
I feel like Hermione Granger in the early “Harry Potter” movies, raising my hand somewhat forcefully to say, “I do! I do!”
In my position as the Our Whole Lives Coordinator in the national setting of the United Church of Christ, I work daily with faith communities to create and sustain a healthy culture around sexuality.
I recently worked with the UCC to develop an infographic about addressing sexual abuse in church. The graphic is part of a campaign this month for churches to focus on the movie “Spotlight” and create discussion around preventing abuse.
The UCC is dealing with this issue as it should be dealt with – directly. When we shine light into the darkness that is sexual abuse and help people find words and ways to express their pain and outrage, healing can begin. If we act embarrassed or secretive about the issue, it grows in the silence.
Church, like family, should be a place of safety and refuge. When clergy – or anyone in positions of authority – misuse their power with people who have put their trust in them, the damage is deep and long-lasting. It isn’t uncommon for a survivor to lose their faith entirely.
While there are no guarantees that any one action will prevent all sexual abuse in church, there are simple steps folks (like you, Mr. Magnoni) can take to build and sustain a healthy culture around sexuality and power in a faith community:
1) Believe any child who tells you about any form of abuse.
2) Give children a choice about how to show affection, especially with relatives. Choices may include a Hi (wave), High Five, Handshake, or Hug.
3) Read children’s books with a safe body message during church or in church school. Have some available in your church library.
4) Teach the difference between a “surprise” (like a surprise party, where someone will find out eventually and likely be happy) and a “secret” (the person is never to know and it’s often a coercive and unhealthy use of power).
5) Start (or continue or expand on) education about sexuality and faith, using tools such as the “Our Whole Lives” Resources from the United Church of Christ and Unitarian Universalist Association.
There are many ways to address sexual abuse with children, even in church. The first step is to recognize that and start talking.
Additional resources: free discussion guide for your church about the movie “Spotlight”: www.ucc.org/_spotlight_discussion_guide_afor_preventing_sexual_abuse_in_churches
Myths and Facts about child sexual abuse: http://www.federalwaymirror.com/opinion/327512921.html
How we accidentally teach kids consent isn’t important: http://www.federalwaymirror.com/opinion/284928571.html
Conversations to start having about preventing abuse and assault: www.100conversations.org
To find out more about the Our Whole Lives program, go to www.ucc.org/owl or contact Amy Johnson at owl@ucc.org.
Amy Johnson, MSW, is a Trainer and Educator in the Pacific Northwest. She is co-author of the books, “Parenting by Strengths: A Parent’s Guide for Challenging Situations” and “Homegrown Faith and Justice.” Amy facilitates classes and workshops in the Puget Sound area and online. She specializes in working with parents and in sexuality education, and she serves in the national setting of the United Church of Christ promoting safe and healthy sexuality education and culture in faith communities. Amy can be reached at comments@diligentjoy.com.
