Q: Mr. Federal Way, why did the Federal Way Police Department comment on the police shootings in Dallas but not on the shootings of innocent black men in the past? Federal Way’s diverse – shouldn’t they also acknowledge national issues like racial profiling and police brutality?

A: No. That’s Mr. Federal Way’s short answer.

The long answer is that the Federal Way Police Department should probably avoid wading into complex, systemic societal failings that are rooted in 375 years of shameful history. There are quite a few whip-smart officers employed there – and a couple idiots, and probably, statistically speaking, a couple of racist thugs – but, at least as far as Mr. Federal Way knows, there are around zero sociologists.

Sure, they can issue statements saying that killings that happened in Minneapolis and elsewhere were travesties, but that’s stating the obvious. And once they’ve brought up the very real issue of excessive force, all sorts of questions they can’t answer can start coming: Why does it happen? What happened in a specific case where excessive force was used? What can be done to stop it?

Those are not easy questions for anybody – if they were, we’d have answers. They certainly aren’t easy questions for cops, even for the whip-smart ones. It’s not their area of expertise.

Frankly, if the department started commenting on the many (many, many, many) cases of brutality that keep happening, the rest of us would start to suspect they were hiding something. Or they’d comment enough times and eventually someone would say, “Hey, local police: Stop talking about things that happened far away and, you know, solve some local crimes.”

It’s lose-lose: They stay silent and look like they don’t care, or they speak up and say the wrong thing or get accused of exploiting a tragedy for public relations reasons. It also opens up a can o’ worms: If they comment on that, shouldn’t they comment on harsh prison sentences given to black people compared to white people? On the disproportionate percentage of black men in prison? On the wage gap, the opportunity gap, or the employment gap that can be traced back 375 years to when America was really into the whole “treat an entire race of people as merchandise” thing?

They shouldn’t. They should leave sociology to the sociologists.

As to why the cops would comment on the police killings and Dallas but not the victims of police brutality, it’s probably because they don’t see themselves as having anything in common with the victims or the perpetrators in excessive force incidences. To use a metaphor, let’s say you’re an assembly line worker who makes parts for Ford. At some point, say Ford has to do a recall because the parts that came out of another factory were defective. Your opinion would probably begin and end with, “Those idiots who loused up the parts should’ve done a better job.” And that would be it.

Now let’s say an explosion happens at a Ford factory and injures a bunch of assembly line workers. Your opinions would be sharper, right? “This is a tragedy – that could’ve been me or some of my friends.”

Same thing.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, the District 30 Republicans are apparently having a picnic later this month. Who do you predict will show up and what could this mean (politically, of course)?

A: Mr. Federal Way would assume the usual spate of GOPers, including local Housecritters Linda Kochmar and Teri Hickel, as well as state-senator-because-he-has-to-be-when-he-really-wants-to-be-state-auditor Mark Miloscia.

Also in attendance, Mr. Federal Way would guess, will be Federal Way Municipal Court Judge Dave Larson, who’s running for the state supreme court. Larson – at the Republican picnic, surrounded by Republican lawmakers, sharing a stage with Republican office-seekers, and meeting up with chums from his days as a Republican Precinct Committeeman – will no doubt again express how non-partisan he is and how he doesn’t really think about party politics.

Mr. Federal Way hopes, sincerely hopes, Mayor Jim Ferrell makes an appearance. I mean, after all, he did give the Key to the City to Hickel.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, how much does a columnist get paid?

A: None of your business.

Got something for Mr. Federal Way? Email your questions, complaints and hate mail to mrfederalway@federalwaymirror.com