As kids go back to school following a Federal Way second grade teacher’s arrest for sexual abuse, let’s review some myths and facts about child sexual abuse.

Myth: Child sexual abuse is really rare.

Fact: About one in 10 children will be sexually abused before they are 18. That’s too many. One child is too many.

Myth: I don’t want to scare my child. I’m going to wait until they are older to talk about it.

Fact: Twenty percent of these children who are abused will have this happen before age 8.

There are great books that can help you bring up the topic, without scaring your kids — such as “It’s My Body” by Lory Britain, “It’s Not the Stork” by Robie Harris and “Telling Isn’t Tattling” by Kathryn M. Hammerseng — to name just a few.

Darkness to Light, a training program to prevent sexual abuse, recommends “open conversations with children about body safety, sex and boundaries” as one of their top five steps to prevent sexual abuse (www.d2l.org).

Teaching kids correct body parts and celebrating what is good about their bodies helps them recognize when something is wrong.

Myth: We’ve covered “stranger danger,” so we’ve done all we need to do.

Fact: Ninety percent of child sexual abuse victims know their abuser. Though family members account for only 30 percent of abusers, the vast majority of children know their abusers.

Pedophiles groom children, so abuse happens gradually and sneakily. They may also threaten the child with harm to loved ones.

This doesn’t mean you need to be suspicious of every friend, coach, teacher or relative. It does mean you need to talk about body safety with your child so they know what’s OK and what isn’t, even if it’s someone they know who’s touching them.

Make sure they know that the area under where they’d wear a bathing suit is private.

They are the only ones who should touch their body there unless it’s a doctor doing an exam with a parent in the room, or someone helping them take a bath. Even then, if they are uncomfortable, they should let you know.

Myth: Kids make up stuff all the time.

Fact: Child sexual abuse reports are false only four to eight percent of the time. In fact, 60 percent of child sexual abuse victims never tell anyone (www.d2l.org).

It’s really rare for a child to make up sexual abuse. Most of the time when reports are made up, it’s an adult in a custody dispute. If a child tells you about abuse, believe them.

Myth: You can’t really tell if a child is being abused.

Fact: It can be challenging, because there are not always obvious signs. Look for physical changes like redness in the genital area or an onset of chronic headaches or stomach pain.

Emotional and behavioral changes are more common and may include anything from perfectionist behavior to withdrawal, depression or anger.

Another red flag can be sexual behavior and language that are not age-appropriate. If you see these things, get help.

If your child or any child talks to you about abuse, believe them, and make sure they know you believe them. Thank them for being brave enough to share with you.

Then get help. It’s not your job to investigate the abuse, but it is your ethical duty to report it.

Let the child know you will do what you can to protect them.

And don’t panic. There is hope. Many children who receive support heal and even go on to help others.

Where to report: 1-866-ENDHARM (1-866-363-4276)

For more information, see “How to Report Child Abuse or Neglect” at www.dshs.wa.gov/ca/child-safety-and-protection/how-report-child-abuse-or-neglect.

Federal Way resident Amy Johnson, MSW, is a trainer, educator and coach in the Pacific Northwest. She is co-author of the books, “Parenting by Strengths: A Parent’s Guide for Challenging Situations” and “Homegrown Faith and Justice.” Amy facilitates classes and workshops in the Puget Sound area and online. She specializes in working with parents and in sexuality education. Amy can be reached at comments@diligentjoy.com.