One of the most fun things I do is teach for Great Conversations. Several times a year, I gather with girls ages 10-12 and adult, often moms, to talk about puberty in a class called For Girls Only.
This program and its creator, Julie Metzger, received some national attention earlier this year, with an article in the New York Times and in a segment on the Today Show.
After each class that I teach, I get to read the evaluations from the girls and the adults. It’s such a treat. The class is well-written, full of information, humor, and compassion. I strive to answer each question the girls ask with honesty and kindness.
Some adults tremble at the thought of answering questions, let alone anonymous questions from 10 to 12-year-olds on cards that have to be answered on the spot. I love doing this. I love it because I consider it an honor to be asked what is really on their minds, and to have an opportunity to give them information that is really relevant to their lives.
Too many people think that, by offering this opportunity to children to ask questions, we are depriving them of their innocence. I disagree. Children today are bombarded with images on magazine covers in the grocery store, lyrics they don’t understand on the radio, YouTube videos with all kinds of content, words they are afraid to admit they don’t understand, sexualized clothing and costume choices, and more. It’s often confusing to them, and even more confusing when the adults they trust don’t want to talk about it.
When we spend a few hours together frankly discussing puberty, body changes in both boy and girl bodies, and how it is babies get started, I get comments like these on evaluations:
“Thank you. I used to think this (body changes) was disgusting, but you made me realize how amazing it is.”
“You explained everything so well. I feel much better now. Thank you.”
“Thank you for answering the girls’ questions in such a matter-of-fact way.”
“You opened the door for me to have more conversations with my girl.”
“Now I feel like I can talk to my mom about some of these things.”
As a parent, you may have a child who never stops asking questions. Cherish that. Keep answering. Ask questions back, such as, “What do you think about that?”
You may have a child who doesn’t ask. Then it’s up to you to gently make sure they get the information about growing up that they need. Check out some books, read together, ask what they think about a song on the radio, and create time and space for questions. You might create an anonymous question box in your home that you check regularly to see what’s in there. And you might come to a Great Conversations class.
If you don’t take time to address these issues with your kids, they will, by default, learn from their peers and the media. Is that really who you want teaching your kids about something as important as their bodies, their relationships, and sexuality? I didn’t think so.
The next Great Conversations classes in Federal Way will be held in March. There will be classes in Tacoma in January and May. Classes are held regularly in Seattle and Bellevue. Check the website at www.greatconversations.com for a full class schedule.
For ideas about books and resources, check my website at www.DiligentJoy.com/resources.php.
Federal Way resident Amy Johnson, MSW, is a trainer, educator and coach in the Pacific Northwest. She is co-author of the books, “Parenting by Strengths: A Parent’s Guide for Challenging Situations” and “Homegrown Faith and Justice.” Amy facilitates classes and workshops in the Puget Sound area and online. She specializes in working with parents and in sexuality education. Amy can be reached at comments@diligentjoy.com.
