This is not the first time I have written about Christmas.

In 2010, I wrote about the adversity faced by my family and others in “Love and Adversity in Christmas 1970.” In 2009, I wrote, “For Christmas, all You Need is Love and an Empty Box.” The common theme of the articles was that the most important things at Christmas — and in life for that matter — are the intangible gifts we give each other.  Most of us get that point so the theme was not a groundbreaking insight on my part, just a hopeful nudge to help those who may be struggling with the reason for the season.

Well, this year is hard; one of those times when I am struggling. You see, I have attended 15 funerals of family and friends since January 2013, with two of them being my own parent’s funerals. My wife and I were both blessed with large extended families, but I did not truly appreciate the curse that comes with that blessing when time catches up with life.

My dad died on Feb. 2, 2013, just three days shy of my parent’s 59th anniversary. Although I had heard of people that deteriorated physically after the loss of their long-time spouse, I never witnessed it until I saw my mom slowly but surely progress to her death on Sept. 24, 2014. Their love for each other was truly a gift from God that they passed on to their children, grandchildren, family and friends.

Love is an intangible, but the presence of my father’s love in my mother’s life was apparently very tangible to her.  Their absence in my life is very tangible, but their love lives on in me and in their family and friends.

It was easy to write about the intangible presents that my parents gave when they were alive, but it feels nearly impossible to experience those intangibles without their tangible “presence.” I would trade all of the Christmas presents I have ever received for even a few minutes of their Christmas “presence.”

It is not as if I was starved of their love or the opportunity to love them when they were alive, but their presence was a great gift for us too.

As I reflect back in time, I see that I was partially wrong when I told you my Christmas stories. I focused on the intangibles without recognizing that it is our tangible presence that makes the intangible presents real.

Yes, we give and get Christmas presents each year, but what type of “presence” do we give others? How much of ourselves do we unwrap for others to enjoy? The sweater you will give is warm, but so is a hug. The video game you give your child becomes a “presence” when you take the time to learn how to play it with him or her. In sum, your presents will mean more to you and others if you give a rich and lavish presence too.

This year look around you for someone who would otherwise spend Christmas alone and give him or her the gift of your presence too. If you spend Christmas alone, reach out to others around you to share the gift of your presence with them, even if it is not on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. It may as simple as a smile, a kind gesture, or volunteering somewhere there is a need.

Merry Christmas, and I hope that you are blessed with the presence of others and that others are blessed with the gift of your presence too.

Judge David Larson of the Federal Way Municipal Court can be reached at david.larson@cityoffederalway.com.