Q: Mr. Federal Way, there seems to be a lot of news in the Mirror lately about cars striking and killing people. Are drivers just groggy due to the weather change? What’s the problem?
A: While Mr. Federal Way is sure that vintage automobiles possessed by supernatural forces are not driving around killing people per se, Mr. Federal Way has noticed the headlines lately.
In the past three weeks alone, there have been three vehicle-related fatalities.
A 75-year-old woman was walking in a marked crosswalk in the intersection of Southwest 340th Street and 35th Avenue Southwest, when a Bonney Lake driver struck her with his vehicle on Sept. 12. She died of a head injury several days later.
Two weeks later, a 59-year-old woman was struck and killed by a car outside of a crosswalk in the 32200 block of 21st Ave. SW on Sept. 26.
Most recently, a 31-year-old man’s motorcycle collided with a car on Pacific Highway South on Saturday. The force threw him from his motorcycle and a northbound vehicle struck him.
He later died of his injuries.
So as the two crosswalk cases illustrate, perhaps you’re damned if you do use a crosswalk and you’re damned if you don’t.
But Mr. Federal Way thinks it is safer to use a crosswalk and Mr. Federal Way is fed up with people crossing busy streets in unmarked, random places simply because they won’t make the effort to walk inside the crosswalk. Mr. Federal Way sees people of all ages, ethnicities and gender bolting across Pacific Highway South and South 320th Street almost on a daily basis.
The complete Oxford English dictionary cross-references jaywalker to the word jay, which is slang for a stupid or dull person. So those of you who think you are too cool for crosswalks, think again simpletons. Use a crosswalk.
And while Mr. Federal Way is on this safety kick, Mr. Federal Way also cautions drivers to slow down in the case of inclement weather. Use your turn signals judiciously and if you’re changing lanes, look over your shoulder and get a good sense of the lane you’re moving over to.
As Halloween approaches, Mr. Federal Way also worries about Mr. Federal Way’s kids and yours. Mr. Federal Way cautions trick-or-treaters to stay on sidewalks and in lighted areas and use crosswalks. Drivers should be alert of any cute creatures or dodo birds that may unexpectedly cross your path.
Q: Mr. Federal Way, I heard someone was kicked out of the Greater Federal Way Chamber of Commerce’s political candidate forum. What happened?
A: Mr. Federal Way’s spies say that a young man wearing a Washington State University baseball cap was escorted out of the luncheon because he was recording the forum and had not registered, paid for the lunch or was dressed the part, for that matter. Mr. Federal Way is all about promoting the freedom of the press, which includes the right to record public meetings and events, but this was not exactly the same situation.
The event was RSVP-only and charged approximately $25 for the fruit, salad, rice, chicken, beef and cookie served for lunch. If he didn’t pay for that but ate the lunch, it’s essentially stealing. As far as Mr. Federal Way knows, he was not with the press and if he were, Mr. Federal Way feels bad for any news organization that has to work with him. Either way, it should be noted that there was no official rule or remark displayed or stated that participants could not record the candidate forum.
Maybe the Greater Chamber of Commerce should have the rules displayed more clearly next time and maybe, just maybe, have a better check-in system so they can avoid another party crasher in the future.
Q: Mr. Federal Way, I heard the Mirror is looking for resident’s willing to share their fall harvest photos for the month of October. Do you have pumpkins growing in your garden, Mr. Federal Way?
A: None of your business.
Got a question for Mr. Federal Way? Email mrfederalway@federalwaymirror.com
