You can stop the e-mails, phone calls, text messages and smoke signals to The Mirror: I’m back.

As many of you know, The Mirror’s strict editor Andy Hobbs had suspended me for violating the paper’s code of journalistic ethics (I know, I was surprised they had one, too).

Not biting, huh? Would you believe I tested positive for steroids and was suspended?

No? All right, how about plastic surgery? Gotcha. Actually, that’s where I have been for the past couple of months. I’ve been having a little work done, if you know what I mean.

Think of this as my TMI (too much information) column. If you read to the end, you will know more about the inner workings of my face than you ever wanted. But I promise to tie it back to Federal Way at the end, as that is our goal here at Thinking Locally.

In the fall of 2007, I began experiencing troubling symptoms in my left eye: Constant irritation, redness and sensitivity to light. Shortly after these symptoms began, physical changes to the left eye became manifest. In photos, my left eye appeared unusually open, while the other looked sleepily closed, in contrast. It was not a good look.

My appearance was so jarring that in publicity photos taken for the Friends of the Hylebos’ annual Ruby Dance in 2007, I had to have my eyes digitally enhanced just so that we could use the photos. I’m not a terribly vain person, but I knew I had a big problem when my face needed to be Photoshopped to make me look presentable. (This is one reason my column’s photograph hasn’t changed in two years – I didn’t want to scare any readers.)

However, ophthalmologists I consulted over several months were all stumped. Tests ruled out all manner of nasty things that can happen to your eye or your head, but brought me no closer to a diagnosis.

I was finally referred to Dr. Troy Woodman, a reconstructive surgeon, and Dr. Mark Hegewald, an ear, nose and throat surgeon. Between these two excellent specialists who have Federal Way offices, the diagnosis emerged: Enopthalmos (basically, a sunken eye) caused by silent sinus syndrome.

The basics of my case were thus. Some time ago, I contracted a chronic sinus infection that didn’t manifest symptoms. No runny noses or sore throats. Over a long period of time, the sinus beneath my eye became plugged and began shrinking. Without the full sinus to support it, the left eye began to descend, causing the eye symptoms. My eye socket basically caved like the frame of an old house.

The fix included sinus surgery to clear the infection, followed by a second surgery to reconstruct the floor of the eye socket with a silicon implant. Yes, that’s right I’ve got a silicon implant.

This is an extremely rare condition, which accounted for the elusive diagnosis (How rare? Think on the order of the frequency of national championship Husky football teams). Very few doctors ever encounter this condition.

This is where the story swings back to Federal Way. Despite the extremely rare nature of silent sinus syndrome, I was able to get a diagnosis, and the cure from Federal Way-area providers. This is a testament to the excellent level of medical care here and a reminder of the importance of St. Francis Hospital to our community.

While I never stepped foot inside St. Francis for treatment, the hospital helped me tremendously. Because we have a top-notch hospital in the community, there are also world class specialists like Dr. Woodman and Dr. Hegewald practicing here. The hospital is like a planet whose gravity, if you will, draws top medical specialists into its orbit. Both doctors’ offices are on the St. Francis campus.

So, I’m back on my feet and Thinking Locally will be back in its usual place. Thanks to Dr. Woodman and Dr. Hegewald, you’ll see a new smiling face next to my byline (after today’s post-surgery photo).

There is one other specialist who was even more central to my recovery: My wife, Anna. She took seriously the “in sickness and in health” clause to our wedding vows and I owe her more than I could ever say in a column.