Q: Mr. Federal Way, in your column back in October 2015 you quoted the mayor as saying “I only use this vehicle for official business when I am working as the mayor.” After noticing that he uses his official vehicle to pick up and drop off his son at school each day, I did a records request for his mileage log. By his own questionable account, he used the car for 1,100 miles of non-official business. Obviously I’m no fan of Ferrell’s, but facts are facts. What do you think about this?

A: Well, looky there, it appears Mr. Federal Way has added another member to the Jimmy Skeptics Club. But you, my bold friend, get a special badge for providing physical proof. Yup, thanks to official city documents, it sure does look like the mayor gets a kick out of the cruise control. Let’s be real, as the cool (or is it “kool”?) kids say these days. This is a mayor who likes to get up and scream at his citizens after they were invited to come voice their concerns for the — wait for it —Fish. Plant. That one’s just for you, Jim. So it’s not unreasonable to think he says one thing but does another.

I mean, how many times has he touted some new initiative “the city” has launched but pouted (five points for Mr. F.W. for rhyming) when he feels he doesn’t get the credit he thinks he deserves? This appears to just be his normal — in the case of his driving, not quite alternative facts, but leaving room for questions. But who knows?

Maybe, just maybe, we’ll be able to take that very same car that Slick Jimmy loves to cruise around town in and pick the new mayor up in it when it comes time.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, what are your thoughts on President Trump putting his immigration plans into practice with people routinely being detained and questioned at airports and even sent back to their home country and the protests that have formed as a result?

A: Mr. Federal Way wished you could see him banging his head on the coffee table and Mrs. Federal Way subsequently yelling at Mr. Federal Way to stop — BUT HE CAN’T! Mr. Federal Way’s going to do this all newsy like. Are you ready?

On the record, Mr. Federal Way will tell you he won’t comment on matters of national security.

Off the record, does anyone who reads Mr. Federal Way currently, at this moment, live in New York City? Can we confirm whether or not the Statue of Liberty is physically shedding tears? It wouldn’t surprise Mr. Federal Way.

Now, please don’t misunderstand Mr. Federal Way. Mr. Federal Way has a tremendous amount of respect for the office of the president and bleeds red, white and blue as much as anyone else. But, as much as Mr. Federal Way hates to admit it, and believe Mr. Federal Way, he hates admitting this: Mr. Federal Way has a soft-ish spot, emphasis on ish, for kids. There are or will be many kids affected by the policy, and, frankly, it’s not fair to them.

Kids, until their 18th birthday, should not be introduced to strife and struggles out of their control. Remember, our leaders in government, whether big or small, are supposed to leave the nation and its people in better shape than they found it. And that is an actual fact, not an alternative one.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, who you got in the “big game?”

A: The Seahawks! Always the Hawks. And none of your business.

Do you have a question for Mr. Federal Way?Email mrfederalway@federalwaymirror.com. Staff produced