Q: Mr. Federal Way, what are your thoughts on the real vs. fake Christmas tree argument?

A: Lots of questions about trees these past few weeks. At least tree lightings and arguing about real and fake trees are Christmas traditions at this point.

Well, Mr. Federal Way’s feelings on the subject are simple: As long as you’re not setting the tree on fire, it really doesn’t matter so much what you have.

Many people who are on either side often cite environmental impacts as why they made their choice. Sure, you have to cut down the tree for a real tree, but it means that more will be planted.

Most of the real trees are bought from tree farms that were created for that specific purpose. Keeping that in mind, deforestation isn’t really a problem here.

Still, those who buy the fake ones often mention that they are never cutting any trees down and are doing even less to harm the environment. The trees also last around eight years or so.

That argument is often countered with the fact that fake trees are usually made with harmful chemicals that may not be well regulated, as most of the trees come from China.

Either way, the actual environmental impact is minuscule. Regardless of which tree you choose, you’re not helping or harming the environment all that much.

So, as Mr. Federal Way said earlier, it doesn’t really matter. Just make sure you’re careful with the trees.

Don’t be one of the people putting candles on the tree as an ornament. Don’t forget to keep your real tree watered. Don’t plug everything in your house and the Christmas lights into one outlet.

Just make sure that when you’re lighting your tree, you’re not lighting it on fire and Mr. Federal Way will be alright with whatever type of tree you choose.

We already know how the city council feels about “burning trees.” You should follow their lead with your Christmas tree.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, a family member of mine has changed to a dairy-free lifestyle and told me to cook our entire holiday meal different just for her. She found special dishes for her to be “unacceptable.” Would you change your meal plans for a family member?

A: If there’s one thing everyone should know about Mr. Federal Way at this point, it’s that Mr. Federal Way is very accepting of change. Unless, of course, that change has to do with how Mr. Federal Way runs this column.

As for you and your family member, it sounds as though you have offered a reasonable compromise by offering to do extra work and make her special dishes. Unless the meal will kill them, Mr. Federal Way doesn’t really think everyone else should have to bend to their eating habits.

It’s very likely that your response was filled with expletives. That’s alright. Their usage tends to go up when you have to deal with extended family during the holiday season. If you have not used any by Thanksgiving, consider yourself lucky.

Mr. Federal Way is assuming this is likely an in-law of some sort because this is the kind of thing they would pull at holiday get-togethers. In-laws deserve nothing when you’re doing all of the work. It’s your castle, run your kingdom how you see fit.

If this was Mr. Federal Way’s family member, Mr. Federal would have told her to bring her own dish if she wanted it to be dairy-free that badly. Mr. Federal Way can respect a vegan lifestyle, if that is indeed what she’s chosen, but to try to force it onto everyone else even after a compromise was offered? Mr. Federal Way is appalled.

If she does give in and accept your special made dishes, Mr. Federal Way recommends stopping by the Mirror’s office and asking the publisher for his famous hummus recipe. He’d probably be happy to oblige.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, what was your favorite Thanksgiving side dish this year?

A: None of your business.

Got a question for Mr. Federal Way? Email mrfederalway@federalwaymirror.com