A recent Huffington Post article entitled “5 Reasons You Should Have Sex With Your Husband Every Night” is making its way around social media — though it seems like it might fit better with Cosmo than Huffington Post.

After reading this admittedly “20-something” point of view along with a bunch of comments by friends who’ve posted it and shared it with me, I’d like to share “5 Reasons Not to Have Sex with Your Husband Every Night.”

1) Let’s start with the obvious: You do not have a husband. Even though the post was in Huffington Post’s wedding section, the article assumes you are a woman, that you are or are going to get married and if and when you do, you will have a husband.

This is a heterosexist and sexist view. Many women are not married, and some women are married, legally, to other women. Assuming that all women marry or want to marry, and all women marry men, and all women who marry men should have sex with them every night is ignorant, excluding, and demeaning to women, men and relationships in general.

2) If you do have a husband, he might not want to have sex with you every night. Consent doesn’t go away with marriage vows.

Unfortunately, neither do stereotypes about women’s and men’s sex drives. A truly loving, committed relationship relies on two people agreeing on sexual behavior together.

3) Intimacy requires more than sex. If you want a close relationship with your partner or spouse (if you have one), you need to do more than play with body parts.

Intimacy requires emotional sharing, caring, risk-taking, listening, reciprocity and vulnerability.

Sometimes, those go along with sexual intercourse, and sometimes, the two are totally separate.

4) Orgasm is not always the point of sexual behavior, as implied in the original article.

Some people have never had an orgasm and some are physically unable to achieve this sensation. If you set up every sexual encounter to be good (we both had an orgasm) or bad (one or both of us didn’t), then you are missing a huge part of the joy possible with sharing your body with someone else in such an intimate way.

Don’t get me wrong — orgasms can be wonderful.  However, there are lots of ways to be physically intimate without that being the goal.

5) Sexuality is so much more than having sexual intercourse. Sexual behavior is about what we do.

Sexuality is about who we are. Explore your senses together or alone; develop intimacy with someone; cultivate health in your body; care about your reproductive health, choices, and rights; celebrate your sexual identity; stand up against double standards and inequity in relationships.

Maybe you have sex every night and maybe you don’t. That is a personal choice between you and your partner.

Just remember the bottom line: Being a sexually healthy person takes much more than having a lot of sex.

Amy Johnson, MSW, is a trainer, educator and coach in the Pacific Northwest. She is co-author of the books, “Parenting by Strengths: A Parent’s Guide for Challenging Situations” and “Homegrown Faith and Justice.” Amy facilitates classes and workshops in the Puget Sound area and online. She specializes in working with parents and in sexuality education. Amy can be reached at comments@diligentjoy.com.