People entertain an average of 600,000 thoughts per day.
Of that astounding number, 95 percent are recycled thoughts or recurring thoughts — thoughts that play over numerous times in our mind each day, each week and each month. The majority of these continuous thoughts are negative in nature. Negative thoughts have a way of pulling down our mood, eroding our self-esteem and ultimately leaving us emotionally beaten down and defeated by our own thoughts.
Most of us would like to have our thought processes dominated with positive, pleasant images — not the opposite. The question is how to achieve the power of positive thought. The solution is simple in concept, but difficult to execute.
We are each in control of our own thought processes. Thoughts filter through the details and particulars of any given day to determine if we are having a great day or the worst day of our lives. Below are a few suggestions for turning around the destructive nature of negative thoughts and reaping the rewards of positive thoughts.
1. Put on your rose colored glasses. Focus on the positive rather than the negative thoughts that wear down the tone and rhythm of your daily experience. Focusing on negative events or “downer” subjects will bring you down. The opposite is true for making the focus of your day positive. Think of something funny or happy and your feelings will become more positive. Focus on a favorite memory or good experience and your feelings will follow your thought process.
2. Take pleasure in the small details of life. Life is so much more pleasurable if we remember the smaller details and do not focus on the large, monumental events. The smaller details happen daily, the larger events happen on special occasions or holidays. We receive more overall joy in daily events than extraordinary events. Take time to inventory what you are grateful for, small or large.
3. Make the most of family and friends. Life would not be as enjoyable without family and friends to share the special and painful moments of our life experience. Events lack meaning and reality without our loved ones to mark the event and make it seem more real. It is the sharing of the experience that adds meaning and perspective. We are all a collection of our experiences, yet lost and ungrounded without the sharing of those experiences.
4. Choose carefully what you allow yourself to get upset about. You have a choice whether to get upset or to let the incident roll off like water on the back of a duck. Arguably we all have different thresholds for anger and frustration, but displaying our anger or acting in anger is always a choice. We do not allow others to make us angry; we allow ourselves to become angry. Take responsibility for your anger, and therefore your happiness.
Happiness comes in many packages — small and large. All we have to do is take time to notice and appreciate the many opportunities for joy in our life. Remember to focus on the positive in life, find small pleasures where you can, celebrate family and friends, and be selective about what you allow to upset you.
Jennifer L. Gray, Ph.D., is a therapist who works with children and their families. Call (253) 653-0168 or write Psychotherapy Associates, Parklane Executive Center, 31620 23rd Ave. S., Suite 318, Federal Way, WA 98003.
