Following is a sample from the Federal Way police log:

• When you gotta go, you gotta go: At 9:43 p.m. Jan. 21 in the 28000 block of Pacific Highway South, police received a call about a hit-and-run collision. While en route, police received another call about a suspicious female pulling into a driveway with front-end damage to her vehicle, according to a police report. The witness stated that the woman, who matched the description of the hit-and-run suspect, got out of her vehicle and urinated in the driveway before driving away. The vehicle was located nearby, parked on the side of the road abandoned. The vehicle was impounded, according to the report.

• Masturbating male: At 10:01 p.m. Jan. 23 in the 2200 block of South 320th Street, two women reported they were sitting in their car in the Wendy’s parking lot talking. The women stated that while they were talking, a man walked to the trash dumpster area and started masturbating, according to the police report. They said that while the man was masturbating, he turned toward them, intentionally showing them the act.

• Wrong wine: At 12:30 a.m. Jan. 23 in the 33000 block of 21st Avenue South, an employee reported that a woman wearing house slippers stole a four-pack of Barefoot Moscato wine. According to the police report, the woman was upset and wanted to exchange a four-pack of white zinfandel wine for the Barefoot Moscato. When the employee said he would have to speak with his manager, the woman went to the cooler and took the Barefoot Moscato.

• Where’s my dog?: At 10:01 p.m. Jan. 24 in the 31000 block of 7th Place Southwest, police received a call of a domestic dispute between a man and a woman. The pair denied to police that they were in a dating relationship, but stated that they do have sexual relations, according to a police report. The man stated to police that he wanted the woman to leave his house, so he put her clothes outside. The man then said that the woman started driving her car around his yard, “tearing it up.” The woman stated she was driving on his lawn because she was looking for her dog and got stuck. Police transported the woman to her mom’s house.

• Jack attack: At 10:21 p.m. Jan. 24 with the 32000 Pacific Highway South, police received a call from an employee who said that a suspect took a $49.99 bottle of Jack Daniel’s whiskey and as he fled out the store he ran into the sliding glass door, shattering the glass, according to a police report. The employee contacted the suspect outside and was able to get the Jack Daniel’s back, but the suspect fled on foot.

• Threatening: At 1:28 a.m. on Jan. 26 in the 31000 block of Pacific Highway South, police received a call that two bar patrons were in a dispute with each other. Both parties were unknown to the bartender, according to the police report. At one point, one man threatened to shoot the other man. When the employee got involved, the man showed him a small black revolver and said that he was going to return and shoot the other man he was arguing with, according to the report. The suspect was a Hispanic male wearing a fedora hat and had a Chinese neck tattoo.