Following is a sample from the Federal Way police log:
• Burglar wakes up woman: At 12:24 a.m. March 23 in the 32000 block of 7th Avenue SW, a woman woke up to find a burglar in her bedroom. According to the report, the woman screamed, causing the burglar to flee. The report notes the burglar was able to steal several hundred dollars worth of personal electronics before being interrupted by the woman.
• Shots fired: At 12:05 a.m. March 23 in the 2400 block of South Star Lake Road, officers responded to reports of shots fired. According to the report, witnesses saw four individuals running toward an apartment complex shortly after the shots were fired. No suspects or victims were located, but police recovered two spent shell casings.
• Dumb criminals are dumb: At 7:46 a.m. March 23 in the 31000 block of Pacific Highway South, police detectives stopped a known felony warrant subject after observing the man leaving his house. According to the report, at the time he was arrested, the man was also driving a stolen vehicle.
• Girlfriend assaults boyfriend: At 10:13 p.m. March 23 in the 35000 block of Enchanted Parkway South, a man reported he had been assaulted by his girlfriend. According to the report, both showed signs of injury, but police were able to determine the girlfriend had been the aggressor. The girlfriend was placed under arrest and transported to the SCORE jail.
• Drunk driver at drive-thru: At 2:16 a.m. March 24 in the 2200 block of South 320th Street, police were dispatched to a drive-thru lane of a fast food restaurant for a driver who refused to remove their vehicle. According to the report, the female driver appeared to be intoxicated and refused field sobriety tests. The woman was arrested and transported back to the police department, where she blew a .216 and .217 BAC.
• Car prowlers score big: At 7:07 a.m. March 24 in the 1800 block of SW 352nd Place, the victim reported unknown suspects broke into their work vehicle and stole more than $3,000 in items.
• Desperate times: At 1:32 p.m. March 24 in the 31000 block of 20th Avenue South, a woman was arrested for attempting to steal approximately $140 of meat and other food products from a grocery store.
• More desperate times: At 2:52 p.m. March 24 in the 31000 block of 20th Avenue South, another woman was arrested for attempting to steal approximately $96 in beauty products.
• Traveler’s worst nightmare: At 6:13 p.m. March 24 in the 31000 block of Pacific Highway South, a victim’s rental car was broken into, and $1,000 cash, three laptop computers, a camera, camera lens and $1,000 in clothing were stolen by unknown suspects.
• Horny husband punches wall: At 11:07 p.m. March 24 in the 2200 block of South Star Lake Road, police were dispatched to a possible domestic violence incident. According to the report, neighbors reported hearing an angry man in an apartment. Police made contact with the man, and discovered the man was drunk and had punched a wall because his wife won’t have sex with him. The report notes the man suffered minor abrasions from the punch.