Listening absently to local talk radio while driving a carpool last week, a question was thrown out there for listeners to call in with possible answers: “What do we do every day that takes one-tenth of a second?”
The callers’ answers were wide-ranging and I didn’t guess correctly. (Cover this article and think of an answer.)
Shockingly, what only takes us one-tenth of a second to do every day is find someone attractive! Researchers from Princeton University found that adding more time to the initial assessment only solidified the original gut reaction. It’s a miracle that anyone gets together at all with that quick analysis.
Here’s where the fierce mothering instinct surfaces to preach that there is more to a relationship than looks. However, since registering that fact, I am now acutely aware of how I view people in general — also that I, too, am being judged. It’s a little disconcerting. Who cares about the attractiveness factor anyway? Well, I do, I guess in a very immature way. And I believe that most people seek approval, but they won’t admit it.
If the one-tenth of a second attraction bias is true, then that explains a lot. We instantly decide how we rate that person on trustworthiness, attractiveness and competence. The ramifications are huge: Do we get second chances ever, or are we doomed to first impressions? This is timely for an election year. I’m sure the candidates spend hours deciding on the color of their tie or blouse.
Whether we’re married, dating, single or whatever, we’ll forever be labeled — subconsciously. That doesn’t seem fair to me at all. You could be having a seriously bad hair day. Maybe you got up late and didn’t pull yourself together, then ventured out into the big world and — poof — you’re branded!
What mother has the time it takes to look presentable every single day? That’s totally unrealistic. As I mentioned, it’s not fair, but science is science. It’s easy for me to over-analyze this revelation. But I’m looking forward zealously to slipping this superficial tidbit into my daily repertoire on the importance of cleanliness. Consider it a new tool to aid in the fight against poor hygiene.
Personal hygiene is discussed in our household to the point that I’m even tired of hearing myself yak about it. This is a universal topic.
Anyone with pre-teen children knows that what seems obvious isn’t. Just asking “Did you brush your teeth?” isn’t enough. Rephrase it and be specific. You will get an entirely different answer. “Did you brush your teeth TODAY?” The yucky answers are astounding.
Staying calm is the best defense in that situation. Ranting about it in the car isn’t productive. I know that, but the words tumble out anyway. It could be because they’re a captive audience. I’ve delivered some of my best hygienic speeches while driving — until my husband informs me “They’ve got the message!” Yes, but I want to see results from my over-lecturing. It’s tough work, but someone has to do it.
September is full of opportunities for new beginnings in the first few weeks of school. Technically we’re still in summer, but there is excitement in the air for fall. But let’s hold on to summer for as long as possible — until the eggnog arrives at Costco.
That event signals my unofficial “the-holidays-are-truly-here” kickoff. Maybe first impressions are lasting.
Federal Way resident Jan Hallahan is a writer and mom. E-mail:
Jan12160@yahoo.com.
