According to poetry and romantic literature, love is transcendent and mood altering.

Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet were unwilling to live without what they defined as “true love.” Love is like the luscious sweet flavor of milk chocolate as it melts on the tongue and leaves you longing for more. Romantic love is best described as hope, something that we desire, but ultimately cannot expect from life.

I would like to describe and define five basic principles of love — so that you don’t let it get away when you encounter your true love.

• Love requires trust. Love is a leap of faith. There is nothing tangible to hold onto other than the person we love and care about. There are no money-back guarantees, no warranties to rely on when relationships feel broken. Love requires making a leap and trusting that the other person will be there to catch you.

• Love is patient. Love comes from taking the time to get to know the other person rather than rushing into a relationship too quickly. Love is a gentle patience that relies on the foundation of friendship to build a strong supportive groundwork. Love requires a dedication of time and energy.

• Love is loyal. Love requires commitment — a commitment that is not evident in much of the media and Hollywood love stories of today, where betrayal and dishonesty seem to be the main theme. People need to depend on each other in times of stress, illness or financial hardship. If there is something constant in our life, that constant should be the people we love.

• Love is family. Love does not end with that one special person in our life. Love extends to parents, children, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and in-laws. Love is a continuation that extends to many other people in our life, people who deserve our love and involvement. Love is fluid and when given freely takes on a life of its own, extending and enriching the lives of others.

• Love feeds the soul. Love nurtures a part of the self that would feel empty and desolate without the sustenance of love in our life. Love makes us a better person, someone who is capable of caring for and considering the needs of more than just ourselves. Love is never violent or abusive. Love is meant to be shared. Love is most fulfilling when we give it away and share the experience with someone that we love and care about.

Take the time this Valentine’s Day to appreciate the special person in your life. If you have not found that person yet, then take a risk and challenge yourself to meet someone new. However you spend the holiday, realize the ever-elusive concept of love is not made up of fairy tales and fantasy, but real people who demonstrate patience, trust, loyalty and the importance of family while feeding their own soul with love.

Jennifer L. Gray, Ph.D., is a private practice therapist in Federal Way. Contact: (253) 653-0168.