Halloween is around the corner, and with it comes the question: “What are you going to be this year?”
Let’s hope our children’s answer to this is something other than “a depiction of an overly-sexualized female character.”
According to the American Psychological Association’s 2007 research (www.apa.org), the sexualization of girls and women contributes to a cadre of mental and physical health issues, including eating disorders, depression, and early onset of sexual activity.
Sexualization is defined by the APA report as occurring when one of these is present:
• A person’s value comes only from his or her sexual appeal or behavior, to the exclusion of other characteristics.
• A person is held to a standard that equates physical attractiveness (narrowly defined) with being sexy.
• A person is sexually objectified — that is, made into a thing for others’ sexual use, rather than seen as a person with the capacity for independent action and decision making.
• Sexuality is inappropriately imposed upon a person.
Healthy sexuality is an important part of development, and occurs when developmentally appropriate, intimate, bonding behavior occurs between consenting partners. There are choices parents make every day that help children develop in healthy ways. Being aware of the media campaigns to use sex to market to our children is one way parents can use their power to counter with healthy messages.
Savvy parents are aware that companies spend $6 billion (yes, with a “b”) each year to market to children ages 18 months to 8 years. They also know that $600 million is the amount of yearly family spending influenced by children (“How Much Is Enough?” 2004). No wonder parents often feel they are fighting a battle to keep spending, belongings and activities at a reasonable level.
So what’s a parent to do? Start with boundaries: No grade school child needs to be a “Sassy Fairy,” complete with fishnet stockings and high-heeled boots. And before allowing a young teen to don sexualized versions of cowgirls and superheroes, have some conversations with her. Ask her about what she likes about the outfit and what she doesn’t. Find out what pressures she might be experiencing to look a certain way. Chat about why that seems to matter more in some circles than what qualities a person has inside. Having these conversations helps you both make more conscious and educated choices, rather than succumbing to peer and media pressure to make sure dressing up is overly sexy for girls.
Still, denying a girl’s age-appropriate expression of her sexuality can be as harmful as blatant sexualization. With billions of dollars spent on marketing, it can be easy for parents to question their boundaries. If you are wondering whether a behavior is “over the line,” try asking these questions:
• Does this choice/behavior support the skills and tasks my child needs to learn at his or her age?
• Does this choice/behavior use a disproportionate amount of resources for this child in this situation (time, money, energy)?
• Is this choice best for my child, or one we are making to meet my need to be a “cool” parent?
• Will any harm likely come to my child or others if we make this choice?
• How will doing this improve the quality of my life or my child’s life?
Countering marketing messages, and specifically, sexualized marketing messages, can seem overwhelming to parents. Taking small steps — like discussing content of commercials, television shows, magazine covers, advertisements and Halloween costumes — can go a long way to increasing awareness and choice. And don’t leave out your sons. Boys and men need to be aware of how marketing and media sexualize both genders and what effects it can have.
This is as important as having other uncomfortable discussions with our children — like those about drugs or sexuality in general This Halloween, do as the commercial says and “Parent up!”
Learn more
Resources for having discussions about how sexuality and marketing combine to create sexualization:
• www.parentsforethicalmarketing.org
• www.niost.org/pdf/So%20Sexy%20Feb.%202009.pdf
• www.campaignforrealbeauty.com
• Books: “How Much Is Enough?” by Jean Illsley Clarke and “So Sexy So Soon” by Diane Levine and Jean Kilbourne
