By NANDELL PALMER, Federal Way author
The 17-year-old youth, MP, was hanging out with his three friends outside the parking lot as I tried to register my nervous son for high school last year. I was curious as to why they were loitering for that long period of time.
“So, why aren’t you guys in school?” I braved the question to the quartet. And they were all too eager to oblige. “Man, I have no use for school,” said MP. “School can’t do nothing for me.” His other partners soon echoed his sentiment.
As I probed deeper, I learned that MP had a baby on the way, and that he had lost his part-time job two weeks earlier. This made me cringe with fear for the unborn child.
“Guys, there is more to life than this,” I implored, but they all begged to differ.
I chatted at length with them, primarily to lend moral support, and for them to educate my freshman son, who was standing beside me, about some of life’s many trials.
As my son and I were about to leave, however, the street toughs muttered something, which begged for my attention. “What was that?” I asked.
“No, man, we were telling your son not to take you for granted.” I was stopped in my tracks with disbelief. MP told me that his father left his mother when MP was just six weeks old. He went on to say that his mother’s boyfriend introduced him to drugs at 11 years old.
“Are you telling me that you have never been told by your fathers that they love you?” They all nodded no. “Never been hugged or affirmed by your dads?” Again, the answer was no. It turned out that none of the boys knew their fathers.
I stressed to them the importance of a father’s love in a boy’s life. I seized the moment and hugged my son in front of them, and tears began to well up into their eyes. They tried to look away, but it was too obvious. They must have said it a thousand times more, “Man, I’m telling you, don’t take your dad’s love for granted.” I pondered long and hard how I could be of service to those young men, and that moment has haunted me ever since. I vowed then to do something to ameliorate this crippling situation.
That’s why from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. Sunday, Nov. 16, at the Federal Way Regional Library, my company, Write A Blessing Media, will host a summit aptly titled “Man Up! Fathers Who Are Not Ashamed to Say I Love You to Their Sons.” Joining me in this endeavor will be a cadre of military men, police officers, principals, community leaders, attorneys and other civic and church officials. The support from the community is astounding!
These men will help me to bring words of affirmation to males who need help expressing themselves. The forum is geared toward fathers and sons drawing a line in the sand to end abandonment and engender deeper relationships. I will give away 30 copies of my book, “Blessings at Your Fingertips,” to the first 30 men who show up. And every father and son will leave with a certificate of affirmation, if that be their need.
Some will argue that there are fathers at home physically, but emotionally, they are not there. Nevertheless, hope is not lost. Also, there are myriads of successful men today who were raised without fathers, namely President-Elect Barack Obama, but no doubt he, too, craved his daddy’s love while growing up. I say much kudos to those moms turned dads.
“A father to a son is like a map on a road trip. With a map, you can see your options, possibly avoid going the wrong way and take the safest and most sensible route to your destination. But without a map, you will experience frustration, misdirection and possibly never get to your destination,” said Ed Hanz.
Nandell Palmer is the president of Write A Blessing Media (writeablessing.com) and author of “Blessings at Your Fingertips.” He is also a motivational speaker. He lives in Federal Way with his wife and three sons. E-mail: palmern777@aol.com.
Don’t miss
“Man Up! Fathers Who Are Not Ashamed to Say I Love You to Their Sons” will run 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. Sunday, Nov. 16, at the Federal Way Regional Library, 34200 1st Way S.
