I often ask parents at workshops, “What’s in the way of our talking openly with our children about sexuality?” Consistently on the list is the fear that children will lose their innocence.

Place that against the backdrop of a Federal Way parent who told me her family watches “Dancing with the Stars” together. In a recent episode, contestants were told to “shake everything God gave you,” to which one replied, “God didn’t give me these” while pointing to her breasts. And there, whether she was ready for it or not, was the need for this parent to have an age-appropriate discussion with an 8-year-old about breast implants.

Talking with our children about sex appropriately won’t damage their innocence. Sexuality is everywhere: on TV, on covers of magazines in the checkout line at the grocery store, in jokes told at school. It’s impossible to keep our children from all messages about sexuality. The question is:  are you part of the conversation that society is having with your child about sex?

I imagine you’re part of the conversation society is having with your children about food. When you discuss healthy eating habits — junk food, the importance of exercise, and the exaggerated claims by energy drink companies — I’m guessing you aren’t worried that your child will lose his or her innocence about food. I’m guessing you think it’s important, potentially life-saving information, and you want your child to make healthy decisions about how they treat their bodies.

We need to change the legacy of fear and misinformation and awkward conversation and even silence about sex. You may think, “But I turned out OK.” Consider how your growing-up years might have been different if there were regular, matter-of-fact conversations with you about body image, gender roles, how babies are made, how to not have one until you’re ready, and how media uses sex to sell us stuff.

How might your life have been different if you didn’t have to rely on learning about sex in dark corners or with giggling peers or through experiences that didn’t go well?

How might it have been different if you’d had the chance to personally look at, feel and see how a condom works before you needed to use it in an intimate situation?

Simply put, we gotta get over ourselves. Every single day, 10,000 teens in America get an STD (www.letstalkaboutsexthefilm.com).

Can you imagine the PR if that was 10,000 teens in America being injured every day because they didn’t wear a seat belt? While condoms aren’t always 100 percent effective, neither are seat belts. And other than abstinence, condoms are the best protection against STDs that we have — much like wearing a seat belt is the best protection we have in a car, other than never getting in one.

Whether you want to or not, you need to be a part of the conversation our society is having with children about sex. It’s happening, whether you are talking — or not. Realize that every discussion about body image, gender roles, sexist jokes, gay slurs, breast implants, protein drinks and even seat belts is an opportunity for you to make it your conversation with your information and your values. The more we are calm and matter-of-fact, the more our children will internalize messages that will keep them strong and empowered to keep themselves and others safe. And that is worth talking about.