I am an African-American divorced father who has a daughter in the third grade. Because I am not able to see my child as much as I would like to, I asked for a weekly progress report from her teacher so that I could help her where she needed help. The teacher said no.

I told her that just because I was divorced that she had no right to give her mother the information and not the father. I felt being “old school” that she would be glad that I was involved. I also was a tutor in my daughter’s classroom. I went to the principal and he said my request was reasonable; remember, this request was made in October 2007.

Since love needs no excuses, I would get up every morning at 6:15 a.m., take two buses and spend one hour a day going over her homework including multiplication. She was not allowed to use her fingers or a calculator; she had to learn it by rote memory, the same as her father did. No excuses. I have missed one morning since school started. When the bell rang, I would kiss her and tell her I love her and to pay attention. I went to the principal with a second request and he assured me we were making progress; that was in February 2008. I would hardly call that progress!

I began to wonder, since I am at the school every day, what happens to the parents who give up? The reality: No matter what the schools say, some want you there, but most schools think parents are a pain, especially the ones that care. That statement came from a teacher.

Here are a couple of examples of what happens when parents do not get involved, according to the Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI). For African-American kids at Todd Beamer High School, the recent pass rate for the 10th grade math portion of the WASL was about 14 percent. The same test’s pass rate for African-American kids at Federal Way High School was 13 percent; in science, it was about 10 percent.

I would call this a crisis of biblical proportions. Where is the outrage by the parents? God bless the teachers that truly care, and for those who are just looking for a paycheck, shame on them.

How often do you read to your child? How often have you met with their teacher? How often have minority parents played the race card? I grew up in an era where black people could not even vote. However, my parents told me that the key to the “American Dream” was reading, writing and arithmetic. No excuses about being poor.

I grew up in a ghetto and everyone was poor, but they did not blame that on bad grades. Just bad behavior. During my senior year, the vice-principal asked all the white kids where they were going to go to college. However, all the black kids were put in the special-ed classes for the “slow learners.” I told him that I did not like working with my hands, and that I wanted to go to a university. He told me I was not smart enough.

I went to the principal with tears in my eyes and retold the story, in all its painful detail. The principal, who happened to be white, said to me that “God never made a nothing and he certainly did not start with you.”

He did say you would have to be twice as good as the white kids. I asked him why. He said “I do not know, but that is just the way it is.” He said to listen to your parents who he knew probably too well. My parents told me that if you were smart enough, go out and prove it and do not embarrass the family name.

I graduated from the University of California-Berkeley. I then went on to receive a master’s degree from the University of Oregon and post master’s work at Portland State University. I have taught overseas to our military personnel in a Third-World country.

The good news is that I finally received my first weekly progress report, seven months late. Colin Powell said “A dream does not become a reality without hard work and determination.” I implore all parents: Do not leave your child’s success in the hands of someone who may not care. Get involved.

Walter Backstrom is a

Federal Way resident.