Following is a sample from the Federal Way police log:

• Juggalo keeping it real: At 12:46 p.m. June 16 in the 2200 block of S. Commons, an underaged teen was observed smoking a cigarette outside of Target. According to the report, the teen was dressed up as a “Juggalo,” part of the hardcore fan group of the rap group Insane Clown Posse. The report also notes that the teen had a hatchet on his person.

• Teenage son goes nuts: At 11:01 a.m. June 17 in the 1900 block of SW Campus Drive, a mother reported that her teenage son was “out of control.” According to the report, the son was threatening to throw the family dogs into traffic. He also slapped his mother’s hand away during an argument, and threw a pizza cutter at a wall. The son had left the scene by the time police arrived.

• Husband gets after his wife’s lover: At 10:58 p.m. June 17 in the 1900 block of South 331st Street, a husband found his pregnant wife’s lover at the Covington Home Depot and chased him through the store. According to the report, the lover is actually the father of the child, and that the husband had promised retribution to the lover if he ever found him.

• Man removes woman from his garage: At 1:52 a.m. June 17 in the 32000 block of 30th Avenue SW, a man reported that a woman had followed him home and would not leave his property. According to the report, at one point, the man picked the woman up and removed her from his garage. Following that, the woman threw beer bottles at his garage door. The report notes the woman had left the scene by the time police arrived.

• Boyfriend runs away into the darkness: At 3:05 a.m. June 17 in the 31000 block of 4th Avenue South, police responded to a possible domestic dispute call. According to the report, a man and a woman in a dating relationship had gotten into an argument. At some point, the man ran away from the woman down the street. The woman ran after him, but was unable to locate him.

• With friends like these…: At 3:02 p.m. June 17 in the 2300 block of South 320th Street, a man reported being assaulted by five acquaintances. According to the report, the man believed he was beaten up for the previous theft of a wallet. The man refused medical aid and also refused to give any further details to police as to who his attackers might be.

• Dangerous driver: At 5:29 a.m. June 16 in the 33000 block of 38th Avenue South, a witness reported seeing a man driving slowly through an area. The witness reported that the man had stopped driving and had apparently fallen asleep in his car. Upon contact with the suspect, police discovered a pipe for smoking heroin, and heroin, on the man’s person.

• Daughter leaves note for Mom: At 9:44 a.m. June 16 in the 36000 block of 3rd Avenue South, a mother awoke to find a letter in her daughter’s room, explaining that the daughter was leaving and never coming back. According to the report, the mother indicated her daughter had a history of depression, but that this was the first time she had run away.

• Shoplifters get away, but not for long: At 12:24 p.m. June 16, two suspects shoplifted approximately $700 worth of merchandise from Top Foods. According to the report, the two left the scene in a vehicle. That vehicle was later located, and the two shoplifters were arrested.

• Strange theft: At 3:40 p.m. June 16 in the 1900 block of S. Commons, a man stole a coin-dispensing machine from the countertop at Subway. According to the report, the machine itself is worth $600, but had no coins in it at the time of the theft. The report also notes there was surveillance footage being reviewed to further attempt to identify the suspect.