Q: Why do the people in the apartment complex next door to me feel the need to “share” their music from their car stereos at all hours of the day and night? And is there a noise law in Federal Way?

A: It really seems like all the complaints/questions Mr. Federal Way receives can be solved pretty easily. Actually, all the problems in the world aren’t real difficult to figure out. Basically, it all comes down to each individual person taking responsibility for their actions. Not that hard, right?

In your case of hearing the loud stereos, it just comes down to those people being selfish. They have to know they are annoying people and just don’t give a rip. Mr. Federal Way “loves” pulling up to a stoplight right next to a car with the windows down, blaring its music on the stereo.

Mr. Federal Way could care less if the tunes emanating from the other vehicle is Jay-Z or Barry Manilow. Mr. Federal Way’s eardrums don’t need to get blown out just because the light turned red: “Look at me. I’m awesome. My stereo is super duper loud with sweet bass.”

Here’s the solution: Turn down the stereo to a respectable level while at a stoplight and blare it again when the light turns green. Simple.

Mr. Federal Way has no idea if the city has a noise law. That would require Mr. Federal Way to do some research. Here’s Mr. Federal Way’s law: Take responsibility for your actions. It’s actually the Golden Rule — treat others how you want to be treated.

First, we can solve the problem of loud car stereos in Federal Way, and next, we will tackle world peace.

Q: Hey Mr. Federal Way, why do people like bank tellers, dental assistants and nurses want you to tell them your life story? It’s very annoying.

A: Mr. Federal Way has also wondered the same thing. Mr. Federal Way understands, just a little bit, as to why these people do what they do. They work around people eight hours a day and are just trying to be friendly. They don’t have the luxury of being able to stick on a pair of headphones at their desk to block out all the noise.

But it’s pretty easy to gauge whether the person you are helping wants to share their life details with you, right? Mr. Federal Way is not one of those people.

Mr. Federal Way would just assume that you let Mr. Federal Way deposit a check without asking about where Mr. Federal Way will be vacationing this summer. Do you really care, or is it a plot to rob Mr. Federal Way’s house? You already have Mr. Federal Way’s address and now you know that Mr. Federal Way’s family is going to Long Beach next weekend. Kind of fishy…

Mr. Federal Way also doesn’t need to be asked about the weather while Mr. Federal Way is getting a teeth cleaning. Mr. Federal Way can just look out the window to decipher if it’s raining or not.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, would you ever have a pet goat?

A: Never. Goats are known for eating almost anything, and Mr. Federal Way already has a couple of those types living at home — children. Mr. Federal Way’s kids already have enough trouble taking care of the family cat, which requires about as much effort as turning the TV on to the Cartoon Network.

All you have to do with a cat is pour a little food in a bowl once a day and open the outside door when they meow.

Easy enough, right? Not for Mr. Federal Way’s kids. So, taking care of a goat is out of the question.

Q: It took me a half hour to drive down 320th Street yesterday because of all the construction work going on in Federal Way. It’s a joke. Why does all construction have to be done at the same time?

A: In Washington, the summer months are always a busy time for construction projects. It’s very, very, very frustrating a lot of the time. The continued lane restrictions, road closures detours and delays are more annoying than anything.

Mr. Federal Way, however, doesn’t understand why the summer is the only time work crews can work on roads. Obviously, there’s got to be a reason. Mr. Federal Way just doesn’t know what it is. Does asphalt not set correctly when it’s not July or August? Does the rain affect the installation of sewer pipe?

It would make sense to Mr. Federal Way if cities, counties and states staggered their road projects throughout the year. Instead, the summer months are filled with orange cones and workers holding stop/slow signs on roads around Washington.

Mr. Federal Way doesn’t get it. Please enlighten.