Dear Federal Way straight, white, cisgender people:
If you are not actively involved in combating prejudice, discrimination, and violence toward LGBTQ people and people of color, then you are part of the problem.
It’s not enough to post memes of solidarity and love on your social media pages.
It is not enough to sit by while hearing a “joke” that puts down someone’s orientation or gender identity, or while someone attacks an entire religion, or makes disparaging statements about people of color. Silence, especially now, is a form of violence.
Don’t try to make sense of the Orlando tragedy by pointing a hateful finger of blame at a religion or a race. What needs amplifying are the voices of those who were harmed. Those of us with straight, white, cisgender privilege need to listen and hear the pain of our human siblings who do not share that privilege. Those of us with Christian privilege need to listen and hear the pain of our human siblings who do not share that privilege. Reach out personally. Ask. Listen. Do not judge.
Don’t try to be an expert. If you are straight, you don’t know what it’s like to be LGBTQ. If you are white, you don’t understand what it is to be Latino. You can’t really “get it,” no matter how much of an ally you are. In that spirit, I reached out to local friends and asked, “What do you wish straight, white, cisgender people in Federal Way knew right now?” Here are a sampling of their own words, used with permission:
“It’s important to me that this hate crime doesn’t get mislabeled as another issue. I remember being young and learning about Matthew Shepard … It pushed me back in the closet … Today’s youth are entitled to know hate never leads to any salvation.”
“LGBTQ people are human beings … We are your neighbors, your high school classmates, your best friends, your church members, that good Samaritan that stops by the road to help change a flat. We are human.”
“As a white, gay male, I’m still not suffering as much as Muslims, black people, Latinos, women and LGBTQ folks in all or some of those categories… What we need to center on are the feelings and reactions of those 103 people’s families and the survivors.”
“Write or call your legislators and say you are an ally demanding there be sexual orientation and gender identity protections in federal, state and city laws and policies. While you’re at it, demand common-sense gun control — no more assault rifles, no weapons for people on terrorism watch lists and those with a history of violence towards others, no military-grade weapons sold to civilians …”
“A transgender woman is a woman — not a man, period… A transgender man is a man… The designation ‘trans’ only acknowledges the journey to our own true selves.”
“We, LGBTQI peoples, have always been in this world. A journey through history reveals us – not just hidden, but in the public eye — often becoming the heroes of a generation. In some cultures we have been accepted, but in the normative American culture founded in conservative Christian ethos, incomplete understanding has caused hate and fear. Lack of knowledge has kept us all from knowing one another and celebrating each life. This is not insurmountable.”
I agree with my dear friends when they say that if we are not all outraged and acting to make change, we are part of the problem. Not acting or saying anything is being complicit in the racism, homophobia and transphobia that infects our nation.
Stand up. Speak out. Be the difference you want to see.
(Special thanks to my friends Brett Niessen, Rev. Dr. Cameron Sharp and others who shared with me.)
Amy Johnson, MSW, is a Trainer and Educator in the Pacific Northwest. She is co-author of the books, “Parenting by Strengths: A Parent’s Guide for Challenging Situations” and “Homegrown Faith and Justice.” Amy facilitates classes and workshops in the Puget Sound area and online. She specializes in working with parents and in sexuality education, and promoting safe and healthy sexuality education and culture in faith communities. Amy can be reached at comments@diligentjoy.com.
