Q: Mr. Federal Way, I am a business owner in Federal Way and I was interested to hear more about the city’s new economic development strategy that officials unveiled at the Council meeting this week.

I was disappointed that while the strategy defined economic development at great length, it didn’t include the methodology the city used to determine why some of their goals are needed, such as the formulation of business district associations. I am concerned that these associations could get in the way of what the Greater Federal Way Chamber of Commerce is already doing. What do you think about the city’s new plan?

A: Some assembly may be required to go through the city’s new plan as you try and piece together where the city came up with the strategy’s moving parts and how they plan to fit them altogether.

So it’s no coincidence that Economic Development Director Tim Johnson named the new plan “Some Assembly Required.”

It’s a broad plan. Mr. Federal Way thinks there are some great objectives in the plan, including rebranding the city’s image to attract more businesses here. The plan is also great in general because the city has never had one in its nearly 25-year history.

But there are also some questionable parts to the plan.

As you mentioned in your question, the city plans to formulate business district associations in four areas: downtown, Twin Lakes, north Pacific Highway and south Pacific Highway. What is a business district association? How and why did the city choose these four areas?

Mr. Federal Way likes to play fair in love and war and doesn’t like the idea that the city may give some business owners in those four areas preferential treatment. Will that treatment include foot massages, a day out at the spa and free chicken wings or rent for a year?

Mr. Federal Way can’t say. But if this is the case, all business owners outside of these areas should plan a march over to City Hall and demand to get pedicures and a waxing too or take your business elsewhere.

And what about the Greater Federal Way Chamber of Commerce? Has the city spoken with chamber members or the CEO to discuss the scope of these so-called business district associations?

Will the associations compliment, hinder or replace what the chamber already does for the business community?

With the potential creation of a mayor’s roundtable of economic development advisors and a community development corporation, it seems like there will be a lot of policy talk. Mr. Federal Way hopes all these groups will work in harmony as the plan calls for a “team effort” to produce and manage many of these objectives.

Hopefully these groups will eventually move past the talking and get something done. And it should be done soon as the city has high hopes of creating 10,000 jobs over two years.

The city would also like to target several industries in particular, including one seemingly random sector — filming.

“In recruiting the types of businesses, I’m not going to let this one pass by,” Johnson said during the Council meeting this week. “We have never really looked at attracting filming, Hollywood films and television to Federal Way. Here’s my pitch to you, and I’ve talked to the mayor about this, how about a reality show called, ‘Federal Way?’ That’ll catch a lot of people’s attention. I’m not sure what the theme will be but I have a feeling it will go well.”

Um, Mr. Federal Way is unsure how much attention a reality show called “Federal Way” will garner.

Here’s Mr. Federal Way’s pitch:

• “The Real World in Federal Way After an Afternoon Shopping at Walmart”

• “South King Fire Made Another Not-So-Sweet Boo Boo”

• “Survivor: I Made it Through a Night on the Streets in Federal Way”

• “13 and Pregnant — for the Third Time in Federal Way”

But not all TV is negative. There’s also:

• “Keeping up with the Ferrell’s in Federal Way”

• “The Real Firemen of Federal Way”

• “Pawn Stars Wars Along Pacific Highway”

Mr. Federal Way is pretty good with writing reality TV scripts too. Stay tuned.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, are you concerned about the shooting at a Paris-based satirical magazine that killed 12 people this week?

A: As a columnist who frequently turns to satire to paint the local world, Mr. Federal Way hopes that your question is innocent and void of veiled threats.

Yes, Mr. Federal Way is concerned that these cartoonists and journalists who targeted political authority using their freedom of speech became targets themselves of violence.

Journalists, cartoonists and columnists may anger some people in the community with their pictures and words but it shouldn’t come at the cost of their own lives.

If you don’t like what someone has to say, pick up your pen and fight back with your words too.

Email a letter to the editor to editor@federalwaymirror.com.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, are you a member of the Greater Federal Way Chamber of Commerce?

A: None of your business.

Got a question for Mr. Federal Way? Email mrfederalway@federalwaymirror.com